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SERITA: SUPPER! (WE COME) MOM: I'D RUN A GOOD-SIZED AD IN THE RICE COUNTY GAZZETTE. DAD: YEARS AGO, I TOLD QUENT WHEN HE CAME AROUND LOOKING TO SELL ADS THA I'D RATHER USE MY MONEY FOR TOILET PAPER. LEAST THAT AWAYS, IT WOULDN'T BE A TOTAL LOSS. MOM: TELL JOKES IF YOU WANT TO, HARRY, BUT REMEMBER HALF OF AUGUST IS ALREADY GONE AND WE'RE WAY OVER INVENTORIED ON SUMMER SHOES. (SHARON BENDS OVER TO WHISPER TO PATTY)
SHARON: I BROUGHT FINGER NAIL POLISH FROM THE STORE (AND SHE BRINGS IT OUT) IT'S A NEW SHADE, LIKE YOU LIKE. NOT TOO BRIGHT PATTY: WHY DO YOU LWAYS WANT TO POLISH MY NAILS, SHARON? I WOULDN'T WANT TO POLISH YOURS. SHARON: DON'T YOU KNOW. ITS FUN TO MAKE THINGS PRETTY. WILL YOU LET ME? PATTY: NO. LAST TIME YOU DID MY NAILS YOU DIDN'T HAVE ANY REMOVER TO CLEAN UP MISTAKES. (PATTY HEARS HER MOM SAY HER NAME) SHE LOOKS UP AND SAYS WHAT ARE YOU SAYING ABOUT ME. AND MOM: NOTHING. IT WAS NOTHING PATTY: WHAT DO U MEAN NOTHING. I HEARD YOU USE MY NAME. MOM: (SIGHS) I WAS TELLING YOUR DADDY THAT WE OUGHTA WRITE THE WILLIAM R. MOORE MPAY, THE MEMPHIS WHOLESLE MART AND CANTORZE AND SON TO ESTABLISH A CREDIT RATING FOR YOU. FATHER: IF I CALL YOU UP AND TELL YOU TO GO DOWN TO A CERTAIN JOBBER FOR A GROSS OF MEN'S WORK SOCKS, THEN I DON'T WANT YOU TO TAKE IT UPON URSELF TO BUY ANOTHER THING. UNDERSTAND? PATTY: YES SIR, DO YOU MAYBE SOMETIMES WANT ME TO GO INTO MEMPHIS FOR YOU? DOING A LITTLE BUYING FOR THE STORE? FATHER: NO NOT TIL YOURE THERE. PATTY: SIR? NOT NOW, NOT UNTIL YOURE ALL READY THERE IN THE DORMATORY AT TEAHCERS NORMAL. MOM:THEY DONT CALL IT TEACHERS NORMAL ANYMORE, THEY HAVENT FOR YEARS. ITS MEMPHIS STATE COLLEGE NOW. PATTY; WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE! WHAT ARE YOU LL TINKING? THAT I'M GOING THERE? TO MEMPHIS COLLEGE. FATER: ISN'T THAT WHERE YOU WANT TO GO. IT'S CHEAP AND ITS CLOSE TO HOME. PATTY: OH NO SIR. THAT IS NOT AT ALL WHERE I WANT TO GO. DAD: WELL, WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO? PATTY: EUROPE DAD: WHAT?!? PATTY: WELL, AFTER MUCH THOUGHT, I'VE DECIDED TO SPEND MY OWN MONEY--THE MONEY THAT GRANDMOTHER AND GRANDFATHER TO GO ON A TRIP TO EUROPE. WHEN I COME BACK, YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY. I WILL WORK PART TIE AND GO TO COLLEGE PART TIME AND I WON'T BE A BURDEN. MOTHER: WHOEVER HEARD SUCH A THING? WHO GOES THERE? NOBODY! WHERE DOES SHE GET THOSE IDEAS? SHE DOESN'T GET THEM FROM ME, SO WHERE? FATHER: CALM DOWN PERAL. NOW CALM URSELF DOWN. PATRICTIA SAYS AND WHAT PATRITICIA DOES IS A HNORSE OF A DIFFERENT COLOR. SHE IS GOING TO GO O EUROPE LIKE I'M GOING TO FLY A KITE. PATTY: IAM GOING. THE WHOLE THING IS, FOR AN AWFUL LONG TIME I WANT TO TRAVEL. TO SEE FORIGN PLACES. I JUST LOVE FORIGN PLAES AND I WANT TO SEE IT FOR REAL. CAN YOU UNDERSTAND IT? FATHER: UNLIKE YOU AND UR KIND, I LOVE THIS COUNTRY. I'D KILL FOR THIS COUNTRY. THIS IS THE GREATEST AND MOST WONDERFUL COUNTRY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH. IF YOU HAD (SNAP FINGER) IF YOU HAVE AN OUNCEOF PATRITIOSIM, THEN THIS FAMILY OWULDN'T HAVE BEEN RUINED BY YOUR TREASON. PATTY: (RUNS TO THE BATHROOM TO PUKE) MOM: PATRITICA, DON'T OU DARE PUKE ON THE FLOOR!!!
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